what to do

I've known for a while now that I have changed a lot in the last 6 years. When I was in training for the Air Force, I was so confident, strong willed (this hasn't changed) and sure all about what I was doing. I was sure I wanted to go active duty and be a military woman. I was in love with the military and all it had to offer. I didn't care about what challenges it entailed, I wanted to do the most hard core job they'd let me do. Then the recruiters wouldn't let me come in active duty because the Air Force was down sizing.

Then I got married. This still didn't change much, I tried and tried and tried to come in. When I finally got that call saying I could finally come in, I was about 9 weeks pregnant. They wouldn't let me come in until the baby was born. Then they said I had to wait until my TJ got out because of Jaeden. I've since then found out that I can get a waiver for this rule and still come in.

Now I don't want to. My priorities have changed. I still love the military, I'm proud of everyone in it. I just cannot live with the thought of being separated from my family. TJ and I have been through two deployments, so I know what its like to be apart from him. The thought of being away from Jaeden breaks my heart. TJ's now sure he's going to be staying in for the long haul, so why take the chance of us not being stationed together (yes, it does happen) or me having to leave Jaeden? So now I've decided to finish school and start a career.

I've been tossing around what I want to do. I'm waiting until we get to IL to start school and I've found two schools that interest me. I was looking at Dental Hygiene or Radiology Technician. Several people have asked me why I don't be a nurse? I always thought that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm not big on guts, blood doesn't bother me, but if I had to see someones insides hanging out, not sure I could do it.

Today we came upon an accident. On the side of the road in a parking lot we could see one EMT doing CPR, one getting an IV ready and others helping out. I instantly got teary eyed and wanted to help. I said a quick prayer for the person and we drove away. I kept thinking how I wish I could just jump in and try to save the person. I know I have no medical training except CPR it was just and urge to help. So now I've thought, well what about nursing?...